Star Wars Outtakes
by AnotherStoryFan
Summary: A collection of my random (and usually crazy) Star Wars ideas. Mostly small crack-fics. Latest: Kylo Ren is a fanboy. And since he is a fanboy, he does crazy things...
1. Jedi Snack

**Disclamer: I don't own Star Wars or any brand names mentioned in this story.**

Obi-Wan yawned as he trudged to his quarters in the Jedi Temple. It had been a long and exhausting day, but that was to be expected while training a padawan as stubborn and annoying as Anakin Skywalker. Now was the time to relax, maybe watch a few holodramas while eating some delicious snacks.

He opened the door to his room and froze. Yoda was sitting on the counter, with a bag of party-sized Doritos in one hand and a 2-liter Pepsi in the other. His claws and robes were covered in yellow dust, and he had a brown soda mustache. He noticed Obi-Wan, but didn't seem to care. He continued to munch and chug without a care in the world.

"Ahem," Obi-Wan said.

Yoda shot him a glance.

"Supposed to see this, you were not," he said between mouthfuls, "Join me, would you like to?"

The Jedi Master let out a massive burp that lasted for five seconds. Obi-Wan threw up his hands in defeat.

"I don't want to know," he said, walking out the door.

He made his way to his favorite bar. He was going to need something waaayyy stronger than a Pepsi to cure his massive headache.


	2. Unwanted Info

Luke sat in his quarters after the awards ceremony. He couldn't believe that he went from a moisture farmer on Tatooine to a hero in just short days! He kept on touching his medal, everything feeling strangely surreal. If only his father could see him...

He was interrupted by Artoo-Deeto and See-Threepio barging in without permission. He sighed.

"What'd you two want?" asked Luke, irritated that he had been snapped out of his daydreams, "If your gears need to be oiled, I'm not doing it, I did it a week ago. Go annoy Han instead."

Artoo beeped incessantly.

"I do apologize for this mannerless astromech droid, Master Luke," said Threepio, "But he keeps on repeatedly saying the most peculiar things."

"Such as?"

"Well, he says that Darth Vader is your father, and that the Princess Leia is your sister. Ridiculous gossip, if I do say so myself!"

Luke stared, dumbfounded. His first thought was that Artoo was lying, but he searched his feelings like Ben had told him to do, and realized that it was the truth.

 _Oh my god_ , he thought as realization dawned on his face, _Darth Vader is my father! But even worse, I KISSED MY OWN SISTER!_

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Luke yelled, then fainted.

The ghost of Obi-Wan facepalmed.


	3. Sugar Rush

Dooku smiled triumphantly as he stood over the fallen Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker. Now all he had to do was to finish them off. Just as he was about to raise his lightsaber, he heard grunting coming from behind him. He turned and saw Master Yoda walking slowly towards him, using his stick to assist him. Dooku smirked. This bag of skin and bones could barely move, let alone fight him in a duel!

"Master Yoda, what a pleasant surprise," Dooku said in his dignified manner, "I see that you're a little worse for the wear."

"Old I am," said Yoda, "But fight you still, I can, my former padawan."

Dooku's smirk grew even wider. It would only take a few strokes to finish off his ex-master forever. He reignited his lightsaber.

"Your move, Master Yoda."

Yoda summoned a can from inside his cloak. He popped it open and drank all of it in a few giant gulps.

 _Was that an energy drink?_ thought a very confused Dooku.

Yoda began to shake with nervous energy due to the caffeine and sugar.

"Give you wings, Red Bull does," said the small master, before igniting his own lightsaber and jumping off the walls like a pinball on steroids.

 _Bantha dung_ , thought Dooku, _I'm dead._

In the middle of his sugar rush, Yoda turned to the Count. Dooku could take no more. He dropped his lightsaber and ran to his ship, screaming like a little girl.


	4. Master, Why You Kill Me?

Anakin chopped off Dooku's hands and caught his lightsaber. He put both lightsabers in an cross, with Dooku's neck in the middle.

"Good, Anakin, good," said the voice of Chancellor Palpatine, "Now kill him."

Dooku looked at the chancellor in horror.

"Master, why?!"

Anakin turned to the chancellor as well.

"Did he just call you _Master?_ "

Palpatine was visibly uncomfortable a this point.

"Ermmm...no he's crazy! Going senile I think!" he said nervously.

"Bantha crap!" yelled Dooku, "You are Darth Sidious and you know it! How else would you get captured."

"He's lying Anakin! Just kill him already!"

Dooku turned to Anakin.

"Over three years ago, I told that idiot Kenobi that the Sith controlled the senate. Apparently you Jedi can't take a hint. He wants to kill me just so you can become his apprentice."

Anakin removed the lightsabers from Dooku's neck.

"You're seriously not going to listen to him, are you?" asked Palpatine, his voice full of fear.

"I can tell he's not lying, Sidious," said the Jedi.

Anakin walked over to the Sith, who was still bound to his chair.

"I can save the woman you love! Come join me and she won't die!" said the sweating Sith Lord.

"Why, what's wrong with her? If you've touched a single hair on her head, I got bad news for you," said Anakin angrily.

"No, no, no, I didn't mean it like that, I mean just in case you would have visions of something happ.."

The Sith was cut off by lightsabers placed on his shoulders, the same spots where they had been placed a few moments previously on the Count.

"You can't kill me, I'm an unarmed prisioner!" said Palpatine desperately.

"You didn't seem to have any problem with me doing the same thing to Dooku." replied Anakin.

Anakin sliced off the Sith's head and deactivated the lightsabers.

"You just killed the chancellor," said Dooku, "You'll be executed."

"I'll just say that I couldn't save him before he was killed by you," said Anakin, "Who're they gonna believe, a Sith or the handsomest Jedi to ever live?"

"Sure, blame the dude with no hands."

"You cut off one of mine. Count yourself lucky to still be alive."

Anakin snickered.

"See what I did there?" he said, " _Count_ yourself lucky?"

"Very funny," Dooku said, rolling his eyes.

Anakin walked to the fallen Obi-Wan and lifted him. He began to walk out.

"Hey!" Dooku called, "What about me?!"

Anakin stopped.

"I said I wouldn't kill you," he said, "But I didn't say I'd save you either."

The ghost of Qui-Gon Jinn wondered where he'd heard that phrase before.


	5. The Haunting

Obi-Wan Kenobi, or _Ben_ Kenobi, as he was now known, was bored out of his mind. The last year on Tatooine was bad enough as it was with the searing heat and the lack of company. On top of that, that crazy moisture farmer Owen Lars had the nerve to ban him from seeing Luke! The boy was never going to become a Jedi if he wasn't trained!

So Obi-Wan sat at home, waiting for the days to pass by and for the suns to set. Occasionally he would go into town to get news of the Empire and get drunk at the bar, but it still was really boring. Most of his time was spent in meditation, and he was starting to see why Anakin hated it.

One day, he was sitting on his custom Alderaani sofa, beer in his hand, when he heard his door to the living room slam shut. He shot up with a start.

 _What was that? How did that happen? Am I more drunk than I feel?_ he thought.

He examined the door, and waved it off as the wind. Just as he was lying back down on his sofa, a pitcher of blue milk spilled all over his kitchen.

 _I must have not put it back properly_ , he thought, getting a little scared this time.

He cleaned up the blue milk, and was about to return to his sofa when the rug was pulled out from under his feet. He landed on his face in a manner unworthy of a Jedi Master.

 _That's it, I'm officially creeped out_ , he thought, getting up.

He took his lightsaber from his belt and ignited it.

"Whoever you are, come out now. I have a lightsaber and I'm not afraid to use it!" he called, turning around a full 360 degrees.

"As you wish," said an eerily familiar voice.

Before Obi-Wan could recall where he had heard it, an apparition appeared in front of his face. He screamed like a baby and swung at it wildly, his blade going through it and hitting his sofa instead. Then he realized it was his old master.

"Qui-Gon," he said panting, "You nearly gave me a heart attack!"

Qui-Gon was too busy rolling on the floor, laughing.

"It's not funny!" said Obi-Wan. He turned and saw his ruined sofa.

"LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO! I SAVED UP SIX MONTHS IN PENSION FUNDS TO BUY THAT THING!"

Qui-Gon simply laughed even harder, tears now coming out of his eyes.

()()()()()

Darth Vader opened his eyes after a small rest in his hyperbolic chamber. Right in front of his eyes stood Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Hey Ani," said his former master.

Vader flipped backwards out of his chair, screaming in a manner unworthy of a Sith Lord.

()()()()()

Today was the greatest day of Han Solo's life. He had asked Leia to marry him, and she had accepted! He sat back in his chair, Corellian whisky in his hand. Nothing could possibly get better.

"HAN," said a booming voice behind him, "I AM YOUR FUTURE FATHER-IN-LAW!"

Han stumbled out of his chair and saw a young man with long blond hair, blue eyes, and a scar on his right eye. He had a weird blue outline around him, so Han figured he was a ghost. He rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't hallucinating. He wasn't. The ghost stuck out his hand and Han shook it.

"I'm Anakin Skywalker, formerly known as Darth Vader," said the ghost, "Welcome to the family, son!"

Anakin hugged him.

 _I'm being hugged by a ghost who is my fiancée's dad_ , thought Han, _That's not creepy at all_.

Han's eyes rolled up into his head and he fainted.

"Oh dear," said Padmé Amidala, "Is he gonna be alright?"

"He'll be fine," said Anakin, "I froze him in carbonite once and he survived. This is nothing!"


	6. Secret Agent Skywalker

**If Jedi Were Secret Agents**

"From now on," said Palpatine, "Jedi will not be generals in the Grand Republic Army anymore."

Mace Windu sighed in relief. No more fighting for them!

"Instead, they will be secret agents!

Windu spit out his drink all over the bartender, who glared at him. Thinking quickly, he waved his hand.

"Uhhh...you had a Gatorade bath."

"I had a Gatorade bath."

()()()()()

Anakin and Obi-Wan sat at Dex's cafe, eating lunch. Dex came over and handed Anakin a comlink

"It's for you."

That was strange. Anakin picked it up and put it to his ear.

"A Bantha will not run unless kicked in the shins."

Anakin sighed. Another mission. He excused himself and went out back, where Artoo was waiting. Artoo performed a retinal scan on him and a message began to play.

"Good morning, Agent Skywalker. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to steal 10 Pokémon from the separatists. Agent Kenobi will accompany you. As usual, should any of your team members be capture or killed, the Jedi claim no responsibility. This message will self destruct in five seconds."

"Wait, wait, wait, WAIT!"

Artoo exploded in a poof of smoke. Anakin knew he should've bought insurance.

()()()()()

Anakin leaned over to kiss Padmé. He was interrupted by his comlink, but he ignored it.

"Shouldn't you get that?" asked Padmé.

"It can wait."

"But what if it can't? You are a secret agent after all."

Anakin sighed and answered it.

"Can this wait?" he said, "I'm busy."

"Anakin, stop your womanizing. Get to HQ now!" said Obi-Wan.

Anakin tossed his comlink out the window and left his apartment.

()()()()()

Obi-Wan carefully placed the laser cutter on the glass. It started cutting really slowly. Anakin tapped his foot impatiently.

"Oh, come on!" yelled Skywalker.

He ignited his lightsaber and cut the glass. It fell to the floor and smashed.

"See, no problem," he said, triumphantly.

The alarms started blaring.

"So much for stealth," said Obi-Wan, "You were supposed to hack into the security system and disable the alarms."

"Why would I need to do that?" asked Anakin.

He jumped into the base and crushed the alarms and security cameras with the Force.

"See, no problemo!"

Obi-Wan sighed and followed his padawan into the base. They sneaked to the vault holding the Pokémon.

"Okay," whispered Obi-Wan, "Now we have to carefully find the combination and-"

Anakin stabbed his lightsaber into the steel door and cut out a large circle. He jumped inside and got the trading card. Obi-Wan was seriously annoyed at this point.

"Now that you've successfully alerted EVERYONE IN THIS BASE to our presence, HOW THE KRIFF ARE WE GONNA GET OUT OF HERE WITHOUT LEAVING ANY EVIDENCE?"

"Relax, I got it covered. Just follow me."

Anakin and Obi-Wan ran out the facility, droids chasing after them.

"Hey, Jedi! Give us back our Pokémon!" yelled one droid.

Anakin closed the blast doors with the Force.

"Now what?" asked Obi-Wan.

Anakin didn't reply and put on sunglasses. He pressed a button on a detonator and the building exploded. He walked away from the flames in slow motion without looking back, making his awesomeness rise to the level of pro. Obi-Wan gawked.

"Artoo, you got that?" Anakin asked after the explosion stopped.

Artoo beeped affirmatively.

Anakin made a copy of Artoo's recording.

"This is so going on YouTube," said Anakin to Obi-Wan, who still had his mouth open.

()()()()()

The bounty hunter held a blaster to Padmé's temple with Anakin bound in a chair, watching.

"I'm going to count to ten, Skywalker," said the bounty hunter, "Tell me where the Pokémon are or your wife dies! One!"

Anakin and Padmé both rolled their eyes.

"Not this again," said Anakin, "Do you bounty hunters ever learn?"

"Shut up! Two!"

"I know," said Padmé, "Didn't the ten bounty hunters before you who tried the same thing tell you what happened to them?"

"Three! Enough talking! Four!"

"Fine," said Anakin, "It's your doom."

"Five! Tell me Skywalker!"

"Ten!" yelled Anakin. He used the Force to knock the blaster out of the bounty hunter's hand. Padmé kicked her captor in the most sensitive spot. The bounty hunter collapsed in pain, crying for his mommy. Anakin broke his bonds and walked over to Padmé.

"You know, the first few times it was funny," said Anakin, "Now saving you is just annoying. Try not to get captured again."

"I wouldn't if you were at home more often," said Padmé.

"It's not my fault! Obi-Wan does nothing but drink shaken, not stirred martinis in his free time! I usually end up carrying him back to HQ."

Obi-Wan staggered into the room.

"Am I late?" he asked woozily.

"Yes!" said Anakin and Padmé in unison.

Obi-Wan collapsed on the floor. He scooted over to the fallen bounty hunter.

"I say! You're a pretty one!" he mumbled, putting an arm on the mercenary.

Anakin turned to his wife.

"See what I mean?"

Padmé couldn't help but agree.


	7. Gamer Jedi

"Masters, I believe whatever attacked us on Tatooine was a Sith Lord," said Qui-Gon Jinn to the anxiously listening Jedi Council, who let out a collective gasp.

"Disturbing, this is," said Yoda, "Meditate on this, I will."

"Council dismissed," said Mace Windu.

After an hour of waiting and eating Pringles, Qui-Gon decided that enough time had passed for Yoda's meditation. I mean, it was basically a yes/no issue after all, right? After a few more minutes of waiting, Qui-Gon became impatient and decided to go to the meditation chambers and find out what Yoda had discovered. The Knight opened the door and saw the diminutive Master leaned over, his back towards him.

"Um, Master Yoda?" asked Qui-Gon, "I was wondering-"

"Shut up! About to get a high score, am I," snapped Yoda.

 _Wait, a high score?_ thought Qui-Gon, _What the kriff?_

Qui-Gon walked next to Yoda and saw that he was holding an iPhone and swiping on the screen rapidly. He was playing Fruit Ninja.

"Master, what is the meaning of this?" asked Qui-Gon indignantly, "I thought you were supposed to be meditating, not slicing some virtual fruit!"

"A second, wait," said Yoda.

A pomegranate came on the screen and Yoda sliced at it rapidly. After the fruit exploded, the green Jedi did a victory jig, took a screenshot, and showed his phone to Qui-Gon.

"Overpowered, this new blade is," said Yoda excitedly, "A high score, I just got!"

Qui-Gon waved him away.

"Master did I fight a kriffing Sith or not!?"

"Of course! Knew this I did, when you said you concern at the council meeting."

Qui-Gon was trying very hard to keep himself from saying a few not so nice words to the little green monkey in front of him.

"Then why did you say you had to meditate?!"

"An excuse I needed, to play the new update."

Qui-Gon felt like strangling something, but settled for pulling his beard instead. He decided he had enough and walked out. Yoda proceeded to start another game.

"Old phone leads to lag," said Yoda, "Lag leads to rage. Rage leads to rage quits. Rage quits, to the Dark Side leads!"


	8. Join Me or I Play the JB!

"Join me, Count Dooku, and together, we will rule the galaxy!" said Darth Sidious dramatically.

Dooku looked at him.

"I may not be a Jedi," he said, "But that doesn't mean I'm a Sith, either."

"Fine," said Sidious, "I suppose you will need some persuasion."

Sidious motioned to one of the guards, who quickly returned with an iPod and Beats headphones. Dooku smirked.

"I already have more iPods than I can count. You won't be able to bribe me with another one. In fact, I own the Apple Store on Coruscant."

Sidious grinned evilly.

"That's not what this is for."

The guard put the headphones on the bound Dooku, who wasn't able to move.

"You know, music is quite relaxing," said the Count.

"Play Believe," said Sidious, "And put it on repeat."

Dooku's eyes widened.

"You can't do that! It's unfair torture!"

Sidious cackled loudly.

"Oh yes I can!"

The guard pressed play on the iPod, and soon the unfortunate ears of Dooku were filled with the sound of the squeaky girly screeches of Justin Bieber.

"Enjoy, Dooku," said Sidious, and he walked out.

"NO! MAKE IT STOP, MAKE IT STOP! I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!" screamed Dooku, "OKAY I'LL JOIN YOU! ANYTHING BUT JB!"

Dooku began sobbing uncontrollably and Sidious poked his head in.

"I knew you would see reason."

Sidious stopped the music.

"Oh thank the Force!" said Dooku, "My ears are still ringing."

Sidious grinned.

"You, my not so young apprentice, will be called Darth...Tyranus!"

Dooku looked at him blankly.

"Can I have a name that doesn't sound like a T-Rex?"

"No, and don't argue. Otherwise I'll start the music again."


	9. The Whiny Thor

**I got a lot of positive feedback on the last chapter, so I decided to write this instead of the Force Balanced. Happy reading! :D**

 **Why Thor Crossovers Are A Really Bad Idea**

"Kriff!" swore Anakin Skywalker, banging on the ship's console.

"What's wrong, Ani?" asked Padmé.

"Our fuel tank has a slight rupture and we can't go into hyperspace till will fix it."

"Calm down and let me find a sutible world to land on."

Padmé went to the onboard computer and began looking up worlds. She didn't have to search long before she found a sutible planet.

"Found one!" she told her husband.

Anakin walked over and looked at the screen.

"Asgard? Sounds like the name for something to protect your posterior."

Padmé laughed.

"Hmm...that's weird," said Anakin, looking closer, "It's rumored that the crown prince is Force sensitive. We'll have to be careful."

The ship landed without incident, and soon Anakin and Padmé were wandering the streets, looking for a hardware shop. They found one just outside the castle. As they finished making their purchases, a ripped blond man entered the store. He wore a red cape and body armor, and had a hammer hanging from his belt.

"You must be the local blacksmith," said Padmé.

The man simply grinned.

"Lady Jane! You are looking more beautiful than ever! I had no idea that you had arrived on Asgard!"

The man pulled Padmé towards him and kissed her deeply. He was interrupted by Anakin, who punched him in the face. The man tripped over his cape and landed on his bottom.

"That's my wife, you creep!" yelled Anakin, pulling Padmé towards him.

The man stood up and glared at Anakin.

"Your wife? That's my girlfriend, Lady Jane Foster! I suggest you let her go before I crush your innards with Mjolnir!"

Anakin decided that this lunatic was either on crazy amounts of LSD or that he had a girlfriend who was a Padmé lookalike. Being the logical person that he was, Anakin decided to believe the former.

"You're out of your mind," said Anakin, "Her name's Padmé and she's _my_ wife."

The man growled.

"Do you know who I am?"

"A Gungan on crack?" guessed Anakin.

"I am Thor Odinson, Crown Prince of Asgard and the God of Thunder!" the man boomed.

Lightning crackled in the air, but Anakin didn't flinch. Apparently the Prince was also a practitioner of the Dark Side.

"Last warning, mortal! Step away from my lady or you die!"

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"No way, blondie. Go home to your daddy and brush your hair, little princess."

Thor roared and fired lightning from his hammer, but Anakin was ready. He activated his lightsaber and absorbed the electricity. Padmé took out her blaster and shot the demigod in the shoulder. Thor fell to the ground.

"Owwwwwwwwwwww...it burns!" he whined, clutching his arm, "Jane, why would you harm me, my beloved?"

"THAT'S IT!" yelled Anakin, "FOR THE LAST TIME SHE IS _MY_ WIFE, NOT _YOUR_ IMAGINARY GIRLFRIEND!"

Anakin swung his lightsaber at Thor, who raised up his hammer to block it. The blade cut through the stone with a hiss, and the top part fell on the ground. Thor looked at the stick in his hand and began crying.

"Oh, stranger, why do you humiliate me so?" he sobbed, "First you take my lady and turn her against me, and then you destroy my treasured Mjolnir!"

Anakin thought it was strange that Thor had named his hammer. He didn't run around calling his lightsaber 'Steven'.

Thor got up and ran out of the shop, still crying and yelling something like 'Daddy! They broke my hammer!'. Anakin looked at Padmé, and she shrugged.

"How about let's get away from this place?" she asked.

"What, you don't want to sightsee? That's a first," said Anakin.

In a few short minutes, Anakin fixed the ship and they blasted into space. Anakin decided that keeping crybaby Sith princes away from his wife had made him tired, so he decided to take a nap. When he woke, he saw that Padmé was on the computer.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

Padmé looked up.

"I decided to see if this Jane Foster was a real person. She is."

Anakin looked at Foster's picture and whistled.

"Wow, she looks like an older you."

Anakin grinned.

"And now that she's single," he continued, "I'm going to get her number."

Anakin ran for his life, laughing wildly, as Padmé drew her blaster and chased after him.

"ANAKIN SKYWALKER, YOU ARE _SOOO_ SLEEPING ON THE COUCH TONIGHT!"


	10. Busted!

The clone-carrying ship landed on the dock of the hangar at Geonosis, while Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda, and Anakin Skywalker watched numbly. Clones rushed out of the ship, as well as a certain senator from Naboo. A clone commander saluted Yoda, while Obi-Wan watched.

"Anakin!" called Padmé Amidala.

Padmé ran into Anakin's arms...err...arm and hugged him tightly.

Obi-Wan heard her and turned around, surprised to see them in the embrace. Padmé then kissed Anakin and Obi-Wan swore under his breath and started thinking of ways to murder his apprentice, something that most Jedi would frown upon. He knew that leaving Anakin with Padmé alone for several weeks would end up badly, and judging by their disgusting make-out session, it had not gone in Obi-Wan's favor.

 _I mean seriously_ , he thought, _They look like seals fighting over a grape._

A while later, Obi-Wan pulled Anakin aside.

"You have to end your relationship with Senator Amidala."

Anakin's eyes widened.

"How did you find out?" he asked, very aghast.

"I turned around. You weren't exactly inconspicuous."

Anakin frowned.

"Yeah, that'd be why. I have to be more careful from now on."

Obi-Wan facepalmed.

"Don't you get it? You can't! You're a Jedi! Now break up with her, or I'll tell the council!"

Anakin swore so badly that even a Corellian smuggler would've washed his mouth out with soap. After about ten minutes of this, Anakin suddenly stopped, his eyes gleaming.

 _Uh oh_ , thought Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan was right to be fearful. Whenever Anakin got that look, he usually did something really evil, like putting Nutella in Plo Koon's pants and throwing him into a squirrel farm. Obi-Wan shuddered. That one hadn't ended well.

"If you tell the council, I'll tell them about you and Master Tachi."

Obi-Wan allowed himself to breathe a sigh of relief. That wasn't so bad.

"We ended that a long time ago, Anakin."

"That's not all. I'll also tell Master Tachi about you and Dormé, and tell Dormé about you and Sabé, and tell Sabé about you and both of them."

Obi-Wan paled.

"You wouldn't dare."

Anakin smirked.

"Why wouldn't I? I got nothing to lose."

This time, it was Obi-Wan's turn to swear uncontrollably. Anakin raised an eyebrow.

"I guess you didn't learn all that from Qui-Gon."

Obi-Wan stopped cursing and turned to his apprentice.

"Fine, I let this go. But only on one condition."

"And what's that?"

"Find out if Rabé has a crush on me."


	11. Fantasy Draft Day

**Sorry for only posting once last week, I had writer's block, but I'm all better now! Enjoy!**

The Clone Wars were in full swing, and heroes and villains had started to emerge. Because of this, a drunken Bothan came up with the brilliant creation of Fantasy Clone Wars, a Holonet game in which you 'drafted' a team of Clone War warriors and played against other teams in your league. Points were based on weekly 'player' performance. One team could start one Jedi Master, one Jedi Knight and one Padawan, as well as two clone troopers, two senators, and one Separatist. It was no surprise that this caught on really quickly, and soon everyone in the galaxy was addicted...

"Kriff you!" yelled Obi-Wan, looking up from his Holo-Tab, "You knew I wanted Master Yoda, but you took him from me!"

Anakin grinned evilly.

"Soon, the Skywalker Syndicate will dominate all of Fantasy Clone Wars!" he proclaimed, "I got myself, Rex, Padmé, Master Yoda, and Count Dooku! We are the dream team!"

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. He'd had to settle on himself and Nute Gunray. He sighed and went back to his tablet.

"Who should I get as my Knight? You're taken," he said.

"How about Aayla Secura? I've seen the way you look at her-"

"Don't finish that sentence if you want to keep your tongue."

Obi-Wan looked and saw that his draft time was running out. He cursed and picked Secura. Anakin grinned wildly.

"I always knew you had a thing for her."

"Shut up, Ani."

In the next round Anakin drafted Bail Organa.

"VAPE IT, ANAKIN!" Obi-Wan roared, "YOU KNOW I WANTED HIM YOU SON OF A BANTHA!"

()()()()()

"Kriff!" swore Palpatine, sitting in his oversized La-Z Boy chair.

He had just lost for the 10th week in a row, and was starting to think that drafting himself and the other himself (a.k.a Darth Sidious) was not a good idea, although it had seemed like one at the time. Palpatine and Sidious basically did nothing, and whatever they did do was credited to other people, for example the time when Palpatine ordered an assassination attempt on Senator Amidala. He had Jar-Jar Binks as his second senator and desperately needed some fantasy points to shove down his opponent's (Dooku's) throat, so he ordered Amidala killed. The attempt failed (Kriff that stupid Kenobi!) and in the end Dooku got the credit for the mishap, causing his points to skyrocket for trying such a daring move. Naturally, Dooku owned himself, and he crushed his master.

Palpatine looked at his options, and decided to trade away Mace Windu and Ferus Olin to Dooku for Anakin. His proposal was replied to with a bunch of characters, which on closer inspection formed the shape of a very rude hand gesture.

"Kriff it!" swore Palpatine again. He would have to trade with General Grevious while the cyborg was high on oxygen. Lots and lots of oxygen.

()()()()()

One day before the Fantasy Clone Wars Finals Week, Anakin was injured in battle and was out of the war for at least a month. This caused an uproar throughout the galaxy, as most of the teams in the finals had Anakin as their star player. Palpatine, who had managed to weasel Anakin from Dooku (with lots of cookies and no small amount of illegal drugs), lost all hope of winning even a single game and had the only team in the entire galaxy that was completely winless.

Palpatine swore nonstop for three straight days, then banned the game, where it stayed illegal until the Empire rose, and then Fantasy Star Wars (an unoffical name for the smackdown between the Rebels and the Empire) swept the galaxy for a second time. Palpy decided to give the game another chance, but foolishly drafted Grand Moff Tarkin, Bail Organa, Jek Porkins, and himself (again). His team both figuratively and literally blew up.


	12. Avengers: Age of Obi-Wan

**Hey guys, sorry for not posting in a while, I've been super busy. I'll update The Force Balanced soon, I promise.**

 **Why Avengers Crossovers Are A Bad Idea**

Steve Rogers relaxed on his sofa. Now that he had taken a vacation after saving the world for the bazillionth time, he decided to cross some things off of his to-do/to-look up list.

Hmm, he thought, What do I do first?

He decided to watch Star Wars, since he'd heard that a new one was coming out soon. He took out the box of the complete saga in Blu-Ray and decided to start with _A New Hope_ , since the Hawkeye told him that it was more enjoyable to start with that one. He put the disk in and kicked back as the title crawl began to appear.

Around four hours later...

 **No, I am your father!** boomed the really kriffing awesome voice of James Earl Jones.

Steve gasped! What a twist! He really didn't see that one coming, although that explained that part in _Toy Story 2_ (Ant-Man made him watch it. He really liked Pixar movies for some reason).

Steve was thoroughly enjoying himself. The special effects were wayyyy better than the _Wizard of Oz_ (Which was a very crappy movie now that he thought about it) and the story was freakin' amazing. _The Empire Strikes Back_ finished and he put in _Return of the Jedi_ , knowing that he wouldn't stop watching until he had seen all six.

Three hours later (You just read that in a SpongeBob voice. Admit it)...

Steve was watching _The Phantom Menace_ , loving its political stuff, when he saw something that made him spit out his Captain Crunch cereal. It was Nick Fury, sitting with the Jedi Council, wearing Jedi robes, and with both eyes. At first, Steve thought that the actor just had a coincidental resemblance to the ex-director of S.H.I.E.L.D., so he let it go like that chick in _Frozen_ (A Scarlet Witch favorite, by the way). But after spotting his lightsaber in Attack of the Clones, Steve began to become suspicious. Fury alway loved purple, and rumor was that he tried to paint the helicarrier violet before getting rejected by the World Security Council. Coincidence? Steve thought not.

Curiosity awakening inside him, Steve watched eagerly, wondering what had happened to Mace Windu. Finally, at near the end of _Revenge of the Sith_ , he saw Windu get his arm cut off and throw out a window.

Windu fell out of a window. _Heh heh_ , thought Steve, before pushing the thought out of his mind, to focus on more serious things.

So Windu had lost his hand. Easily fixed with today's technology. Heck, all he had to do was to ask Stark. As for falling out of a minimum twenty story window, Steve had survived higher. Piece of cake for a Jedi Master. His eye probably was damaged by the Sith Lightning, so that was explained as well. There was little to none information on Fury's personal life, and now Steve thought he knew the answer. He paused the movie, Googled Mace Windu, and opened Photoshop. He drew an eyepatch and a beard on the Jedi's face. Bingo. Perfect match.

After Steve finished watching RoTS, he fell asleep. Binge watching was like a sugar rush. You feel energetic while it's happening, but after it's done you're knocked out like Han in carbonite.

()()()()()

The next day, Steve went directly to Tony Stark. He found him in his lab, working on some sort of plasma cannon.

"Sup," said Steve.

"You're getting better at the hip speak, Baseball Cap," replied Stark, turning to face his friend.

"Yeah, well, I've had a lot of downtime," said Steve.

"Just don't start saying YOLO all the time and you'll be fine," said Stark as he took off his gloves, "Sooo, what brings your star-spangly pajamaed behind to my Science Cave? If it's for an Iron Patriot suit, no I haven't made one and never will. That piece of junk was stupider than Transformers 4."

"First of all, I thought Iron Patriot was cool. Second of all, the Science Cave is a dumb name for this place."

Tony shrugged.

"Brucie came up with it. He kinda always get his way."

"Anyway, I just finished watching all six Star Wars."

Tony didn't show any reaction.

"Annnnnnndddd...?" he asked, "Surprised that Vader was Luke's father?"

"Yeah, that was an unexpected twist. Kind of like Leia being Luke's sister. I didn't see that coming!"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, but what really surprised me the most was something in the Prequel Trilogy," continued Steve, "Don't you think Mace Windu looks a liiiitttlllee too much like Nick Fury?"

Tony grinned.

"Finally! Even Banner didn't realize that! You're the second one, Uncle Sam!"

Steve blinked.

"Wait, what?" he asked, feeling very confused, "Fury's seriously Mace Windu?"

Tony scoffed.

"Hell, yeah. I found out ages ago. Apparently he survived all that crap and came here."

"Did you confront him about it?"

"Yeah, he told me to keep it quiet."

"And you did? I'm surprised."

Tony rummaged around in a drawer.

"Well, in return for my secrecy," he said, "Fury showed me how to build one of...these!"

Stark whipped out a lightsaber from the drawer and ignited it. Glowing blue light filled the room. Steve's jaw dropped. Tony just smirked.

"Pretty cool right?"

"Make me one...please," begged Steve.

"If you think that's awesome, wait till you see the _Falcon_."

"For realzies?"

"Yep. I'm making a Death Star by Asgard, too."

"Why not Earth?"

"Some intergalactic crap about planetary zoning. The New Republic sucks."

()()()()()

Steve sat on his sofa, his mind still trying to comprehend all that he'd learned. When he finally stood up, he was more than surprised to see three ghostly figures looking at him. So he did what any logical person who supernatural spirits in their living room would do. He waved his hand through them.

"Woah, woah woah!" said the ghost of Anakin Skywalker, "Boundaries, Captain!"

"He can see us!" exclaimed a befuddled Obi-Wan Kenobi.

"Told you so, I did," said Yoda, "Strong with the Force, he is."

Steve stared.

"Don't just look at us like a drunken bantha! You have anything to say?"

"Um, how do you know I'm Force sensitive?" asked Steve.

"See us, you can," said Yoda.

"Plus your shield somehow always magically comes back to your hand," said Obi-Wan, "There's no other explanation."

"Huh," said Steve, "I always wondered why that happened."

Captain America fainted.

"Too old he is," said Yoda.

Anakin rolled his eyes.

"Not this kreth again," he said, "You said that the last two times and look what happened."


	13. Coffee Break

**I keep on forgetting to put this, but thanks to Reneia, ILDV, and Angelalex242 for being constant reviewers for this story. Seeing your comments really makes my day. You guys rock!**

 **Warning: This chapter contains kind of disgusting poop jokes. You have been warned.**

The two stormtroopers slurped their coffee as the sat in the Death Star's lounge, which was sponsored by Starbucks.

"You know," said Trooper ID-10T, slurping his TIE Black Gourmet Cappuccino, "I always wondered how Vader takes a dump."

"Yeah, me too," replied Trooper ST-0P1D, stuffing his mouth full of cookies, compliments of the Dark Side Cafe and Torture Chamber.

"Do you think he has a room for his...bodily functions or does he just go in his suit?" asked ID-10T.

"He does seem to smell a lot," said ST-0P1D, thoughtfully, "But he's been wearing the same suit for 19 years without a wash."

"Or maybe his 'accident' caused his posterior to melt together. He can't physically let anything out."

"So you're saying he has two decades of crap stuffed inside his rectum."

"He could explode any second! The place would be covered in poop!"

"You're right! We have to stop this! The halls of the Death Star shall remain Sith free!"

The troopers grabbed their blasters and ran to Vader's room. They forced open the hyperbaric chamber and prepared to shoot. Instead, they saw Vader sitting on his chair, which apparently had a built in toilet, reading the latest Percy Jackson book.

"This explains a lot," said ID-10T.

"No, you can't use my crapper!" he said angrily, "I won't get my chamber dirty because of your terrible aim! The smell takes forever to wash out!"

Vader Force pushed them both out of the room and went back to his book. Meanwhile, in the garbage room, something soft and brown fell onto Luke Skywalker's head.

"Ewwwwwwww," said Leia Organa-Her Royal Highness-Skywalker-Solo, "Luke, your hair! It's disgusting!"

Luke grabbed Han Solo's shirt and wiped his head frantically.

"There was something about that piece of poop..." he said after he got it all off, "Something familiar... something close..."

()()()()()

ID-10T was lapping up his coffee when he made a sudden realization. He knocked over his Mid-Rim Mocha and shook ST-0P1D by the shoulders.

"What the kriff?" asked ST-0P1D.

"We're Boba Fett!" exclaimed ID-10T.

"What do you mean?"

"You know how we're all clones?"

"Yeah."

"Boba Fett is a clone, too."

"Oh my Force...you know what this means!"

"We can be super epic bounty hunters!"

ID-10T and ST-0P1D went to Grand Muffin Tarkin's office to resign, but their form was rejected.

"Why you no accept resignation?" asked ID-10T.

"You see, we knew that one of you dumbsiths would eventually realize that you can be just as epic as Bubble Fat," said Tarkin.

"You mean Boba Fett."

"Whatevs. Anyway, that's why Vad...er...I had the brilliant idea of putting a section in your slave..um..work contract forbidding you from quitting and becoming a bounty hunter."

"Kriff that fine print!"

"Shut up! Now lick your supreme commander's boots, you lowly zebra warrior!"

"Okay, where do I find Lord Vader?"

Tarkin's face became very red.

"I'M YOUR SUPREME COMMANDER, KRIFF IT!" he shouted.

"Haha, no way," laughed ID-10T, and the stormtrooper walked out.

()()()()()

"Why the crap is our aim so bad?" asked ST-0P1D, cup of joe in his hand.

"I dunno," said ID-10T.

"I mean the clone army's aim was pretty good. They killed tons of droids and even Jedi!"

"It's probably those damn budget cuts. They had to remove the firing ranges in order to get enough cash to make this thing. You know how much it cost? I heard that you could buy the entire planet of Tatooine!"

"Huh. That explains why our armor can't even withstand spears with round tips."

"You mean the ones that those teddy bears throw?"

ST-0P1D shuddered.

"Yeah, they creep me out. One sec, they're all cute and cuddly..."

"And the next they're a ball of fur in your face, trying to bite your freakin' head off."

()()()()()

ID-10T walked in the Starbucks and saw that ST-0P1D had already started on his Venti drink.

"Sorry I'm late. Miss me?"

"What kind of a question is that? You know I did," said ST-0P1D.


	14. LSD - Logical Saber Duels

**Logical Saber Duels (LSD)**

"Dude, come up with a better acronym," said the readers.

"It's the only one I could come up with that doesn't totally suck," said AnotherStoryFan, "And besides, I'm the writer here!"

AnotherStoryFan clears throat.

"And now, without further ado…presenting Logical Saber Duels! The show in which we find out how the duels in Star Wars would go if they followed actual logic!"

"It's not a show," said the readers, "It's a kriffing chapter in your outtakes."

"Shut up! I felt like doing something else in the intro! Now sit back and read."

()()()()()

 _If Qui-Gon Jinn and Obi-Wan Kenobi vs Darth Maul Followed Logic_

Qui-Gon sat meditating as the energy shield buzzed. On the other side, Darth Maul prowled menacingly. The shield shut off and Qui-Gon's eyes popped open. The Jedi and the Sith began dueling once again. Obi-Wan rushed to help his master.

 _I'm not going to make it,_ he thought, _Unless I use that Force speedboost thingy I used in the beginning of the movie._

Obi-Wan shot forward and managed to get across before the shield turned on again. Darth Maul saw him and cursed.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?" asked the Sith.

"Yep," said Obi-Wan, before he and his master proceeded to chop him into bite-sized M&M pieces.

()()()()()

 _If Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Yoda vs Count Dooku Followed Logic_

"I'm taking him now!" yelled Anakin as he rushed towards Count Dooku.

"Anakin, No!" warned Obi-Wan, but Anakin didn't listen. Dooku blasted Sith lightning from his fingertips, but to everyone's surprise, he blocked it with his lightsaber.

"How the kriff did you do that?" asked Dooku.

"All Jedi have spider-sense. We can sense things before they happen. Didn't you read the manual?" said Anakin.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"And Yoda's not even here yet!"

By the time Yoda arrived, Anakin and Obi-Wan had already extracted every single one of Dooku's organs and sold them on the black market, making them the richest Jedi ever.

()()()()()

 _If Obi-Wan vs General Grievous Followed Logic_

Grievous whirred his four lightsabers around really, really fast, but Obi-Wan didn't flinch.

"You're forgetting one thing," he said boldly.

"And what's that, Kenobi?" asked the general, advancing closer.

"I can use the Force, moron."

"Sith, I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"You bet!"

Obi-Wan squeezed his fingers together and within seconds Grievous was nothing but a tinfoil ball.

"Wonder why no one thought about that earlier?" said Obi-Wan, before proceeding to sell the ball on eBay for ten million credits to some nerd.

()()()()()

 _If Mace Windu vs Palpatine Followed Logic_

Palpatine attacked the first of the four Jedi who had come to arrest him, but was surprised when his stab was blocked.

"What-" he began.

"Spidey –sense, Palpy," said Windu, "Seriously, don't any of you dumbsiths read the manual?"

Palpatine sighed.

"I'm screwed, aren't I?"

"Is Yoda shorter than Michael Jordan?"

Anakin arrived to find Palpatine's office empty.

"He must have gone to McDonald's without me, that lying backstabber," he said angrily.

()()()()()

 _If Anakin vs Obi-Wan Followed Logic_

"AHHHHHHHH!" screamed the two former friends as they desperately tried to put out the flames covering their burning clothes.

"Fighting this close to lava was a very bad idea!" yelled Anakin.

"No Sith, Sherlock!" screamed Obi-Wan.

"I thought it would look epic! Kriff you, science!"

Albert Einstein rolled in his grave at their stupidity.

()()()()()

 _If Darth Vader vs Ben Kenobi Followed Logic_

Vader swung at Ben, who had kept his lightsaber straight in surrender. He was cut in half and fell to the floor in two pieces.

"OWWWWWWW THAT HURTS!" screamed Ben.

"What did you expect?" asked Vader.

"I thought I was going to disappear into the Force or some crap like that! The online course seemed so legit!"

"Maybe Darth Maul can hook you up with some spider legs."

()()()()()

 _If Luke vs Vader Followed Logic_

"The Force is strong with you, young Skywalker. Also, I AM YOUR FATHER!" boomed Vader.

"Wait, what?" asked a very confused Luke.

Vader Force pushed him into the carbonite chamber and froze him.

"What an amateur," the Dark Lord of the Sith said, "But at least I didn't waste my time this way. Plus he has tons of time to think this over!"

()()()()()

 _If Luke vs Vader 2 Followed Logic_

"I am a Jedi, like my father before me!" proclaimed Luke. His lightsaber never left his hand.

"Why didn't you throw your lightsaber away?" asked Palpatine, "My whole plan depended on that!"

Luke rolled his eyes.

"I'm not an idiot. Obi-Wan told me that this weapon was my life. I'm not going to throw my life away, thank you very much."

Palpatine shrugged.

"Well in that case I'm screwed. Just get it over with."

Luke let out a ninja cry and cut up the Emperor, giving him enough street cred to be the only one awesome enough to compete with Chuck Norris.


	15. The Fanboy

**So I saw The Force Awakens (which is awesome by the way) and decided to write about Kylo, since he's writable about. This does contain some minor spoilers so be warned if you haven't seen Episode 7.**

"Where is the map?" Kylo Ren snarled at Poe Dameron, lightsaber at his throat. However, the Resistance pilot was more focused on the ship belonging to his captor.

"What is that, a V-Wing?"

Kylo was taken aback.

"What the hell are you talking about?" he asked, "I _do_ have a very dangerous weapon two millimeters from your perfectly groomed face, so no funny business."

Poe sighed.

"I meant your ship, genius."

" _Oh!"_ said Kylo, "Yeah, it's not exactly a V-Wing, but more of a U-Wing or a half W-Wing. On second thought, it's really a-"

"Surprise mother trucker!", yelled Poe, punching him in the helmet, taking advantage of the nerd talking, causing him to fall into the sand. The pilot ran away as the stormtroopers fired at him, but since they were stormtroopers, they missed.

Kylo stood up indignantly, a proceed to have a temper tantrum like a little child.

" _Mommy!_ " he cried, smashing the sand with his saber, " _Your_ _pilots_ _don't play nice!"_

 _()()()()()_

"Show me the power of the Dark Side, grandfather," Kylo said kneeling in front of Vader's helmet, "And I will finish what you started."

"That's not your grandpa, kid," said a voice from behind him.

Kylo screamed and started swinging around his lightsaber wildly, yelling " _Die, die, die!"_

"The thing is, I can't die another time. You done, kid?"

Kylo stopped swinging and opened his eyes slowly. The voice belonged to a young man in Jedi robes with long hair and a scar on his right eye. For some reason, he was glowing blue.

"Who the kriff are you?" he asked instantly.

"First of all, language," said the apparition, "Second of all, I'm a Force ghost and the most awesome person to ever live."

"Okayyyyyyy…" replied Kylo, "So are you gonna haunt me or something?"

"Actually, I have a message," the ghost said, clearing his throat, " Your parents never told you the truth about your grandfather!"

Kylo became angry.

"They told me enough! They told me he was Darth Vader, the most epic villain ever! You're nothing close to his epicness!"

"No, _I_ am your grandfather!" the ghost boomed.

Kylo looked at him in shock.

"Anakin, Anakin Skywalker," the ghost added cheerfully. He held out his hand for his grandson to shake.

Kylo lifted a finger, then fainted at the sight of his hero.

Anakin took a look at his burned helmet.

"Good thing I insured that," he said to himself.

 _Later, in the vast expanse of le Force..._

"You just couldn't resist, could you, Anakin?" said Obi-Wan.

Anakin smirked.

"You're just mad you don't have a line like that," he shot back.

()()()()()

"Are you Gollum?" asked Kylo suddenly.

Supreme Leader Snoke choked in surprise.

"Oh my god, Kylo, you can't just ask people if they're Gollum," Snoke said with disdain.

"But are you?"

"No way!"

"Yeah, but your face's bone structure is really similar."

Kylo pulled out his iPad.

"See," he said, opening a face recognition app, "I took a photo of Gollom and tried accessing your bank account using it."

"You WHAT?!"

Kylo snorted.

"It's not like anything valuable's in it. Just your first edition Darth Vader action figure which I _totally_ stole. Don't worry, I left your Palpatine cereal box. Anyway, the photo worked and there are too many similarities between you and Gollum to completely throw away a theory of you two being the same."

Snoke sighed.

"Gollum's my mentally disabled cousin. Don't tell anyone, or I'll do terrible things to you. Like really terrible. Justin Bieber terrible."

"Yeah, thanks for clearing that up. Were you saying something about my dad?"

"Oh yeah, you have to kill him to go to the Dark Side, blah, blah, blah."

"Did Vader kill his dad?"

Snoke paused.

"I'm not sure he had a dad."

"But that's impossible. You just want me to kill my dad cause he's Han Solo and you're not."

"I deny that last part. Mostly. If you kill you father, you'll be just as fatherless as Vader."

"I'm sold." Kylo said instantly.

()()()()()

Kylo slammed his helmet down and moved towards Rey to finish the interrogation, but was stopped by a familiar voice.

"Did you think you could fool me?" asked Anakin.

Kylo turned and saw the annoyed expression of his grandfather.

"What now?"

"Your helmet. Your voice. YOUR FREAKING VADER MUSEUM!"

"How did you see my Vader mus- wait, this is why you interrupted me? I'm trying to get information, man. Come back another time."

Anakin glared at him, and Kylo wished he was wearing a diaper.

"Do not call me MAN! I'm not one of your British homies, sonny. I AM ANAKIN FREAKING SKYWALKER, LORD OF ALL THINGS- yes Master Yoda, I'll try not to wake you from your power nap."

Anakin seemed to calm down a bit and them continued as if nothing happened.

"Anyway, I was thinking about what you were saying yo the charred remains of my head, you know, 'I will finish what you started, blah, blah, blah', and I was wondering, what exactly did I start, other than than bring your droid to Death Star Day?"

Kylo gulped.

"Um, you know, taking over the Galaxy, killing all the Jedi sort of stuff."

Anakin groaned.

"You make a few dozen mistakes and somehow turn your grandson into a fanboy."

The ghost turned to his descendant.

"Look kid, you try to do that, you're gonna end up dead and have your burned helmet worshipped by your useless grandson."

"HEY!"

"Look, what I'm trying to say is that- OH MY GOD, DID YOU JUST DUMP YOUR HELMET ON MY ASHES? YOU CREEP ME OUT! YOU SICKEN ME! AND TO THINK, YOU WERE NAMED AFTER OBI-WAN! NAME YOUR KID AFTER OBI-WAN, YODA SAID. THERE'S NO WAY HE'LL BE MESSED UP, HE SAID. UGHHHH, I'M OUT OF HERE."

Anakin disappeared and Kylo just stared at the empty space for a few seconds.

"Hey, earth to fanboy!" Rey called, "You were going to torture me?"

Kylo blinked.

"Actually, I'm going to go jump in a hole," he said slowly.

He left the room, and Rey could've sworn she heard a lightsaber igniting and the words 'No one understands me!' as Darth Wannabe stormed off in the distance.

()()()()()

"Anything," Han Solo said as he approached his son. Kylo took the lightsaber and handed it to him, but the young man's fingers didn't leave it. Making up his mind, Kylo was about to flip to switch when-

He felt the burn of a blaster bolt on his shoulder and fell on the metal. As can be expected, the younger Solo started crying like a baby.

" _Dad!"_ he whined, " _What was that for?"_

Han allowed himself to grin.

"What can I say, son? I always shoot first."

 **Thanks for reading, as always. I've been busy as of late, but I'll try to update this more frequently. All feedback is appreciated.**


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